This Sunday, the sermon was about the woman who met Jesus at the well. To summarize, she was a Samaritan who had had several intimate relationships, and was in her fifth at the time of their meeting. Enter Jesus, who asks her for a drink of water.
She questions him right away- what kind of Jew would want anything from a Samaritan? So begins a conversation where Jesus tells her about living water. Here is where I want to draw your attention away from the usual message.
What kind of woman was this Samaritan woman?
We know she had five husbands... But we don't know what happened. Except, like most of my sisters who have been out there, we know that whatever her reasons, she understood that she wasn't strong enough to be on her own. Most likely, those men were not all good men, and in that case, she did what she could to survive before eventually trading in or upgrading. We know that living like that is exhausting. You don't know if you're coming or going- and even when you can pull it together and make your life look half decent, there is always a secret fear that the other shoe is going to drop and he will look up at you with that sheepish grin, before walking to the door.
What kind of woman doesn't have girlfriends?
Culturally, we know that there was separation between the Jews and the Samaritans but also that she draws her water in the middle of the day. Generally, women would go for water in the morning, so as it have it for the day's chores. We know that most likely because of her lifestyle, she didn't have female friends to share life with. We know in our hearts that she probably had an attitude about it to, and would probably be that girl who claims that she only has male friends because other women are too catty. You know this woman because you've met this woman. At some point in your life, she stole your boyfriend, or dated your brother or your cousin (and ruined his life). You didn't trust her from day one. You told everyone there was something about her that didn't sit right with you. (In your spirit. Ha!) that's because women who can't relate to other women tend to be unworthy of trust. Within the first three conversations when getting to know a new gal pal, relationship status is disclosed. If not, I start wondering what kind of woman I'm talking to. And most likely, (speaking for myself here) I will ask if it doesn't come up. This crucial tidbit says in a covert way that this person is safe to be friends with. Single? Then I know you're looking. Married? You're in relationship, I don't need to know the quality. Divorced, separated, celibate? Good for you. I just feel safer knowing who I am dealing with.
I don't know if this woman would have been ostracized in the same way today. Her circumstances would have to be dire to earn the total social outcast- our society is pretty much anything goes when it comes to intimate relationships. But to have no female friends indicates that the only bond she seems to be familiar with is a sexual one.
What did she think of Jesus?
Was she sizing him up to see if he was a man of loose morals? She enjoyed talking to him, perhaps did she think this could be husband number 6? When she asks for the living water he has offered, he tells her to go call her husband.
I can see her narrowing her eyes. So! You know. You knew all this time. You just want me to feel bad about myself- well you don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. Someone must have told you. Little do you know that the man I am with is not my husband. I have no husband.
What kind of man sees the heart of such a woman, bruised, broken, and without hope? Women like her are not entertained by decent men. What kind of man can be kind to her without desiring anything from her that she's used to giving? What kind of man offers to satisfy someone who can't seem to find satisfaction in anything? What kind of man shares knowledge of the future with someone who has no one and is no one?
Jesus who saves. Who redeems us, like an extreme couponer. Jesus, who revealed his God nature to her. Jesus who gives out hope, second chances and love. Jesus- in meeting him, we can never be the same. The standards go up and are achievable. He gives us the ability to serve him.
Go back to our girl for a second. Like a personal ad, she is seeking, but does not know how to articulate what she's looking for. How many times does she try to figure out what she needs to have in order to be happy, finally? In some situations, you will find her to be a reject... But I argue that every woman has that moment when she wants to know if there's more than just this.
Can you be Jesus for your girlfriends? Can you be him for someone who isn't your friend? Can you extend yourself to show someone his love today, not by hearing their words, but by listening to what their heart is saying? Can you love who has been deemed unloveable? Being there for each other, believers or not, is one of the ways you can show God's love. People who have been Christians forever still have burdens that they could use help in shouldering. And those who are not living for Christ sometimes just need someone to lend an ear. This isn't about giving advice either... It's abound being quiet and listening to that which is found in between the words- the heart. It's about mirroring back that heart truth to see if it resonates. Here's hoping you step up and be that woman today, sister.