Picture a car crash.
A really horrible wreck, the kind that people stop and stare at... many want to help, but don't know how, and a few brave people step forward to help until the paramedics arrive. The air smells chemical, and to your horror, you are close enough now to see the body of woman dragged from the wreckage. She has several deep cuts that have bloomed through her pretty tailored suit, roses of bright red blood. One of her shin bones is sticking straight out of her leg. She is struggling to breathe, and the person who is closest calls out, "Someone call 911. Her pulse is weak." She looks like she wants to say something, but everyone is too busy assessing the damage to her body, that it almost goes unheard. You make eye contact and she says to you, "I need my wallet."
Hearing her speak, people stand back for a moment. She is crying, her chest heaving; clearly it hurts to speak but she can't stop herself. "Give me my wallet. I need my wallet."
"Your wallet is safe. Don't worry, we will take care of it. For the moment, you are bleeding and..."
"I said I want my wallet," she snaps. The crowd is taken aback by the sharp tone of her voice.
"Miss..." begins the bystander who has been by her side, the very first one who found her, "You have been in a car accident. You are bleeding badly. You have some broken bones, and one that even needs to be put back into your body. Please don't fret, concentrate on breathing and staying with us. The ambulance will be here soon."
"Put pressure on the wounds," calls the one who is on the phone with 911. People offer scarves and tear up shirts to help. The bystander moves in to press against the wound, and the woman on the ground screams. "STOP IT! That hurts."
"I bet it does," he says, "but I have to put pressure on it, because you're bleeding out..."
"No. Don't touch me. If you want to help me, bring me my wallet." He sighs, gestures to the car, and you run to get her purse. Quickly you search it, but no wallet is found.
"It isn't here," you say. She becomes hysterical. "Yes it is! Give me my wallet!" the man approaches her to adjust her broken wrist and she screams, "This is all your fault!"
"A wallet will do you no good if you die right now Miss," he says, stepping back. "We are fighting to save your life."
***
Now if you really pictured it, it seems a little crazy that instead of receiving help from those around her, the woman was not only demanding, but wanted something that could not help her. And I am sure that there are people who think, "Well yes, she wants her wallet! It's important to her." I want to speak to both of those situations.
The car wreck is your current situation, that has landed you in trouble, and crashing into a wall was God's way of stopping you before it's too late. The wounds are the things that need healing and special attention in your life, because they are causing you pain and overall diminishing your quality of life and your human spirit. The people are a mixed bag of folk. Some of them know you and want to help you, others would help you without knowing you and of course there are people who just want to stare at a tragedy. The guy giving first aid is the church. The girl who runs for the bag is your best friend. And the woman is you.
Sister, you are bleeding out spiritually. I don't know the circumstances, but you are in a critical place where you need someone to pull you from the wreck and triage you. You cannot help yourself because you can't see yourself and yet you're convinced that if you could just get this object, or this position, or this particular promise from God even, you think that everything will be okay and somehow you're going to walk away from this crash. Worse yet, some of you are so stubborn, you crawl back to the car, get inside and crash it again, repeatedly. You always end up in the same place, on the sidewalk, bleeding.
Now the wallet... The wallet represents your treasure the desires of your heart. You may very well want them, but they will be of no use to you if you die, or worse yet, if you are not ready to receive those gifts. I'm talking about that perfect job with reliable income. I'm talking about your husband. I'm talking about your children. You can't take care of yourself, and yet you won't let anyone help you.
This is not a good way to live. But the instructions you have on what it means to be a Christian after you've invited Jesus into your heart are too vague, and you're afraid of people in church knowing how you're really doing. They ask, but it seems like the moment you admit that there are problems, they throw even more vague statements at you and you feel stupid. Now, this isn't true in every case, but it's a scenario I've seen play out too many times. Or picture this: someone genuinely wants to help you deal with some of the habits that keep tripping you up, and you don't let them get close to you, or your issues because "it hurts". I hope it hurts, because it's killing you! We have problems with trust and the church too, I know. So it turns into the dying woman in the road trying to instruct the healer on how to heal. "Well, when it comes to me, you need to know that I'm like this, and so you have to come at me like this." Mmhm.
You can't see yourself. Jesus said so when he referred to judging others. In Matthew 7:3, He asks, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the log that is in your own eye?" (NIV) There is a log in your eye that inhibits you from seeing yourself. And to others, it may look like a speck, but they are outside of you, and they do not know what it must look like from your perspective.
There are many different kinds of ministries to help people in various places and times in their lives, depending on what you are going through. But your pastor is the first one who gets to assess the situation. Use him for this- he won't mind. And if you have x amount of reasons why you can't trust him, pray and ask God to reveal to you who can help shoulder your burden. MOST of the time, that will be a mature Christian, someone who serves or leads at church, or has been a Christian for a long time. I'm praying that as you read this, that person is clearly coming to mind.
The church itself cannot heal you. It can however support you, provide resources to you, and be there for you as you live and walk through life. Even people who are not Christians are welcome to seek the church's help. This is the purpose of it.
The word is: Look at yourself, seriously. See the damage and the things that need to be fixed because you can't go on like this. Accept help from God and the people He puts in your path to help you. Yes, it will hurt, but one day we will look back on it and it will be a reminder of the time God pulled you out of a car wreck and brought you through.
Church: know who you are, what your role is, and be there for people without judgment. We all have logs in our eyes, and for some of us who have been walking with the Lord for a while, it gets harder to detect the source of that log. Let us be unafraid to examine ourselves in God's light.