Soul Ties

We can’t talk about breakups without talking about soul ties. This is information that I found out about way too late- so I am praying that this gets to you on time. We’ve talked a bit about the dynamics of the break-up and how to start life again, day by day. Now we address the stumbling blocks.

I know women who got saved when they were in their early teens and didn’t date anyone before their husband. I also know women who are still waiting and haven’t ever dated. Now I’m the first to admit, when I met my husband, I regretted that my relationship firsts were not all with him- but dating is fun! Getting to know someone- fun! Breaking up, not great, but I think that’s our fault too because as a society, we have upped the ante so high that relationships that were never meant to last beyond getting to know each other now have large investments attached.

On the other hand, I know women who have always had “a boyfriend” and she still has always has a boyfriend, not a husband. I know women who have become hardened by their experiences of loss in love that they can’t allow themselves to be drawn into relationships for fear of what they will lose this time around. I know girls who can’t live without having someone, anyone, just to talk to… even if he belongs to someone else. They are driven in and out of relationships, and sometimes they don’t even know why they keep playing this game.

Soul ties are an emotional bond or connection you form with another person. Sometimes it’s with a friend, most of the time it’s with a significant other. We are created to be in relationship, with God and with others, and eventually, that special someone. God wants us to have good friends- close friends and a partner who is committed to us through a matrimonial bond. As such, we have the ability to bond on this deep level. Problems arise when we bond with people who are damaged and acting out that damage in various ways (controlling, manipulating, ill-willed, etc.) and when we leave those relationships, or try to leave anyway.

One of the fastest ways to form a soul tie is to engage in physical intimacy. Imagine wrapping an invisible, spiritual cord around every person that you expose yourself to in this vulnerable way; one loop around him, one loop around you. One loop around the neck of every guy from your past.  Imagine what happens when you try to step away, or worse yet, when you meet someone new. You, the host, will get tripped up, because all of these people are tied to you!  I know the example is used often when promoting safe sex, that when you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they have slept with. There is a spiritual impact to that as well.

Have you noticed that best friends after a while will have things in common that they are known for? They can finish each other’s sentences and have a unique communication pattern reserved for use with the other. When soul ties are good, we get relief and feel good about who we are spending time with. Consequently, we can bond with people who are damaged and looking to hurt others. Unhealthy soul ties can be created out of abandonment, co-dependency, unforgiveness and idolatry (of another person). You can be tied to a friend, a parent, a child, a relative or a significant other.

Soul ties torment the host by creating obsessive thought patterns about the broken relationship. Instead of being able to make a clean break, that invisible cord remains and nasty demonic spirits tug on those strings to wreak havoc in your life. You know this is happening when you experience some of the following:

·        Grief that is unending- time is moving on, but you are still grieving like it happened today

·        Racing thoughts of worry and concern for this person. Possibly daydreaming and rehearsing future conversations

·        Lack of mental clarity- can’t see anything outside of the relationship

·        Familiar phantom smells that remind you of this person although he is not aroundyou

·        Emotional extremes- either too emotional or completely shut down; there is no in between or perspective

·        Desire for a lover that never went away- this can ruin future marital relationships

·        Inability to have proper adult relationships, stunted growth in relationships (childishness)

A person that has given their life to God and is relationship with Him has had their spirit renewed and rejuvenated by the Holy Spirit. The spirit is housed by the soul, which contains our memories and feelings. When trauma occurs, the soul bears the impact and holds the damage. Those wounds make the person vulnerable to demonic spirits and attack through those traumatic entry points. This is where the soul tie lives. These are the things that make you stay in unhealthy relationships or return to them. These are the things that stop you from seeing your life outside of that relationship.

Sweet sister, I want you to move on with your life. I want to cut you free from these invisible cords and release you to be free to be the girl God made you to be. I want you to be able to not need him in any way now that he has stepped out of your life. I know you think he will make you happy, but this again, is a deception from the enemy.

HOW TO BREAK A SOUL TIE

1)      Understand what Jesus dying on the cross means for you. For me! For all of us. He died literally so that we could have eternal life. He ascended so that the Holy Spirit could come into our hearts and help us to live a victorious life. You can give your life to Him and choose not to heal the wounds on your soul, but He has offered to take them away (Matthew 11:28). He can do that for you if you want Him to.

2)      Pray and ask God to reveal to you what soul ties you need release from. Take notes, write it down.

3)      Ask God to forgive you for the role you played in creating or perpetuating these soul ties. Lay the relationship before Him (visualize actually doing this). Pray "In the name of Jesus, I break every soul tie between [Person's Name} and myself. By the blood of Jesus I am made whole and am free of this relationship." You may not feel anything, but your words are powerful as a child of God. Have faith that the soul tie is broken.

4)    If you can and you feel comfortable, have your pastor or a church leader that you trust pray with you. We can pray for ourselves, but your pastor has a special anointing on his or her life and when s/he prays for you, things change. Remember that s/he is responsible for your spiritual well-being before God.

5)Fill the void that has been left by this person with the things of God. Play worship music. Read the Bible. Spend time with friends who will uplift you. Time really does heal all wounds. 

Ever had an experience with a soul-tie? Comment below!