Selfies.

I am hesitant to write about selfies, but I feel it's the next natural thing. A selfie is literally a picture you take of yourself, usually with a mobile device. I have read articles that compare portraiture as the first selfies, but I would argue that as long as the picture or representation is taken by someone else, be it a painter, sculptor or photographer- the fact that it has been filtered by someone else makes it art and not selfie. 

The selfie is about vanity. It involves the subject using the reflective aspect of cameras today to manipulate the angles of the face and body, twisting and turning just so, to create a photo that the subject finds pleasing. I remember when my parents learned about selfies, they would take photos of themselves unsmiling, staring at the camera as though it were not actually on. Instead of taking photos to make their faces look smaller, or filtered to have less wrinkles, they took an authentic snapshot of what they really looked like. This is not a real selfie. I'm going to go out there on a limb and argue that a selfie is a published photo. Regardless of what you take on your own, if it's only for you to know what you look like, I feel like that's equivalent to looking in the mirror. The act of publishing the photo and allowing others to participate in validating the beauty that was in the eye of the beholder by opting to 'like' it is what makes a selfie a selfie. 

I have watched how selfie culture has refined itself in past years. Eventually apps began to develop multiple filters so that more stylistic elements could be added to the photo. Selfies have choice locations- bathrooms and in cars are among the most popular. Somehow we all know what a duck face is- sucking in your cheeks so that your face looks slimmer and your pouty lips are more pronounced. I have read many articles that shame selfies and others that defend the practice. 

I'm torn because I have from time to time, appreciated a good selfie. When I see someone I know looking good and enjoying the face God gave them, I probably will press that like button. And having been a photographer, I appreciate an opportunity to be in a photo, and also be the one to take the perfect shot. But there is certainly a dark side to online photography and the way one's life is presented. Take for example Instagram, a photo sharing site. On a healthy person's IG, I would expect to find pictures that show me life from this individual's point of view of the world. If all I see are heavily manipulated self images, I start to wonder what is going on there. 

If I can boil my objection down to a point, it would be about what is motivating us to share what we share, and whether or not we recognize the distance between what we see online and reality. 

I know people who take great selfies and in real life, they look very different. Reality adds pounds, scars, wrinkles and uneven skin tone. I know people who know that they are pretty, and after using the online tools come out looking amazing- and then they can't stop posting selfies and looking at themselves. But beauty is skin deep and only for a time- I start to question who this girl would be without her pretty face?There is an episode of South Park where all the girls walk around with photoshopped images of themselves that they show to the boys. The boys then marvel at how pretty their girlfriends are, never once acknowledging the actual girl standing in front of them. 

Then there's the phenomenon of LIKES, and getting people, your followers, to like your photos. Whether you want it to or not, you will find yourself checking to see how many and who has liked your selfie. Already there are people who have attached their entire self worth to how many likes and followers they have. 

You might not be on the extreme end of any of these cultural complications, but I wouldn't be a good sister if I didn't point out what is at the root of this- desire. We want to know that we are attractive and desirable to other human beings, partly because society ascribes power to beautiful people. Make no mistake, desire is like salt- small doses can add flavour, but too much and it literally begins to destroy your insides. Our world is rife with young women and girls who are so hungry to be desired, they no longer care who is pushing the like button, as long as it gets pushed. The acceptance of selfie culture promotes our inherent seductive behaviour that has always been part of us, but is dormant until awakened. Of course our culture is over saturated with sexual imagery that dictates to women how to behave, but I believe because of our original sin nature, seductive desire that was meant to be awakened in your married life is now being bent towards self-satisfaction in the pursuit of desire. When I see graphic selfies, I am sad because the subject is sacrificing her self-worth in order to gain more desirability. In the end, desire is annihilated by satisfaction, but when there is no satisfaction to be had, when it disappears down a rabbit hole of disconnection and people without faces consuming you, all it does is breed deeper, darker desires. Think about that for a moment and let the Holy Spirit bring to mind revelation on this. 

The scripture verse I want to quote is Acts 17:28, "for in Him, we live and move and have our being." Our identities and our very lives are in Christ. He lives through us and loves people through us! If who we are is truly rooted in him, then our confidence comes from who he is, reflected in us. Therefore we should set our hearts on the goal of being more like Him, and look to the Word to reinforce our confidence and value to Him. God says we are the apple of His eye. We are precious jewels. We are his bride. Don't let this be just words to you... When you embrace these words as truth and you set your heart on knowing Him and hosting His presence, you will have self-esteem in the fullness of its definition. 

God sees you every minute of every day. He sees you clothed and naked, with morning bed head and during your work day. He sees your heart, and there are no filters for your heart; He sees the good, the bad and the ugly. And regardless of if it is your finest moment or not, He loves you the same. When you come to understand that He can never love you any less, that He is crazy about you and wants to be in relationship with you and that even at your worst, He still desires only you, then you won't need to post selfies to validate yourself. You might still throw one up there because you happened to walk into the perfect breeze, but your selfie will say "today, I caught a glimpse of myself the way God sees me all the time! Aren't I pretty?" When you adjust that mentality, you won't be pandering to likes or followers, and you won't fall on the slippery slope of desire. The focus will not be to seduce, but to celebrate that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And! Your feed won't be full of posed photos... You might start to capture what you look like when you're doing something you enjoy, or you're with people you love. Maybe you won't care to show yourself at all, you'll focus on capturing moments that God uses to woo you (nature, little things that remind you of times in your life when He was with you... That kind of stuff). 

A lot of the points made in this series will repeat so here goes nothing- live a real life. Defy the endless online keeping up with the Jones' and go outside. Talk to real people and connect. Spend time in prayer. Virtual life is designed to distract you from what is really important- life.