As we continue to wade through pandemic life, waiting for a vaccine, the holidays are approaching. The present situation can really contextualize what we used to consider “boring”. I keep hearing people say that they would give anything to go back to boring. Friends, in this time, I want to encourage you to keep pressing on. Don’t look back, as you are not far enough away yet, to be able to appreciate the distance. There is a reason why Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. Looking behind you when you are still within sight will only make it harder to keep going.
Recently, I found myself reading the words of Jesus, when he was talking to the disciples about taking care not to judge (Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:41-42). We know it well, this is where Jesus says don’t be a hypocrite and point out the splinter in someone else’s eye, when you have not addressed the LOG in your own eye. While pondering these words, something else occurred to me. This passage also ministered to me about anxiety.
Have you ever had an eyelash in your eye? While you’re wearing contact lenses? And the eyelash is coated in mascara? Burn, burn, burn. My sisters know what I’m talking about. It is uncomfortable and painful. You find yourself crying out, tears try to flush out the foreign object and restore balance to the organ. Hopefully, this doesn’t happen to you often. We agree that it’s uncomfortable to live with a foreign object in your eye.
Jesus made no mistake when he referred to a splinter. A tiny speck of wood derived from a log, jammed into a delicate place can cause a lot of damage. Removing it is more painful than an eyelash. In the traditional interpretation of this passage, Jesus reminds us that while we can see what’s wrong with others, we often have splinters in our own eye, unaddressed, big problems, that require more of our own attention. The message is simple: keep your focus on your own stuff and let God work on you first. But there is also a deeper revelation in this about perspective. What looks like a splinter from the outside, appears as a log in the eye of the beholder. Is it possible that Jesus was also trying to call attention to the way that we see our problems?
One of the hardest things to get balanced when you are anxious or things around you are going crazy is your perspective. What could really be a manageable or small problem feels like and grows into the discomfort and pain of a log in your eye. Of course it’s a log! It hurts like a log. It needs addressing, because it’s affecting you.
Hearing someone say from the outside, it’s no big deal doesn’t help… they don’t know what it feels like. I think Jesus wanted us to think about that too. We can’t know how to help someone effectively when we don’t understand what they are experiencing. That being said, our world culture is completely out of whack when it comes to glorifying victimization. Having to face adversity builds your resilience and will help you take problems in your stride. Sure it doesn’t feel good, but pain is an indicator that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. Instead of wallowing in our pain, its better to take it Jesus and ask for help.
When you are reeling from emotional reactions, stress and anxiety, it does help to hear a trustworthy voice share their perspective with you, from outside of you. It’s a log to you, but they can confirm although it feels like a log, it’s a speck and you will not die.
Can I go extreme for a moment? Sis, anxiety can be summarized in two thoughts: fear of the unknown and fear of death. Even people who play with their lives still have a fear of death. It is instinctual that the body will fight to survive. Although we don’t realize it, when we are anxious at the root of that feeling is a fear that unknown circumstances will place us in a battle of life and death, so your alert system wakens the body to be ready for fight or flight. When that system gets amped up, it can be very hard for you to see things as they actually are.
Combine that with isolation and the current restrictions many of us are facing as the second wave of Covid hits… now the voice that is loudest in your head is anxiety. Talking to someone, anyone, in person or virtually, will help to take away power from that loud voice, and bring some balance back in. Unfortunately, the voice does everything it can to convince you to stay isolated, so it can continue to be your loud new bestie. Except it’s not a bestie by any means. The enemy is using anxiety to try and destroy you.
It is no coincidence that people are lonely and have a hard time making friends. If you had friends before the pandemic restrictions began, it is likely that you are keeping in touch with them, via text and phone and virtual meeting. Even that can only go so far- we are real people, who want real connection. For humans, touch is healing. It is reassuring. It reaches us on a primal level and calms us, reminding us that we are not alone and we are still breathing without trying.
Making friends isn’t easy. Keeping them isn’t easy. Both require patience and an investment of time not to mention vulnerability on your part. Something I’ve observed is that people who have been isolated are too hungry for contact and attention, so they overshare and give away the sweetest parts of themselves (their story, their lives, their heart) to people who have not proven themselves as yet to be trustworthy. The other problem is, while I think it’s okay to have some non-Christian friends, they will be limited in their ability to connect with you. The advice that they give will be based on their world view and life experience, and we know that Christianity values different things than secular morality. Even when it appears we agree on the surface, I want to caution you that non-Christian friends can be used by the enemy to lay suggestions in your mind about what is right.
I know that online church is not comfortable, and also it can be easy to slip in and out without making contact with anyone, but I encourage you to keep trying to find a church you like and connect to. When they host online events, participate even if you feel nervous. There are great Godly people out there who are looking for a friend like you! They can’t meet you if you hang out with your anxious thoughts.
Last but not least, maintain the friendships you already have. Even if they have run cold, try to connect to people who know you, have known you over time, and you have memories of (as long as the people and memories are not toxic!). Friendship needs to be maintained and cared for, like any living thing. It will help support and sustain your very life in these strange times. This might mean having to humble yourself and make some apologies. That’s okay! People are more willing to forgive than you realize, especially if they have lost loved ones this year. And this too, is the work of God, to help keep the log out of your eye. Lean into it and be blessed, even in this season.