I have been humbly charged to write to you during this pandemic Christmas season with a simple word. Don’t take it the wrong way, or you might miss out of something special God has for you. Hear me out.
At the time of writing, we are going into our tenth month of living with Covid. Like so many other countries, Canada is experiencing its second wave, and it has not been pretty. Political figures are stand-in parents, chastising us on a daily basis to keep activities to the basics, maintain distance and wash your hands. The response from people is that many don’t care and continue to spread the virus through social interaction. The latest thing is to dangle human interaction during the holidays before us like a carrot, threatening to take it away if things get worse.
I don’t know how I’d do things if I was in the place to decide. On one hand, many of us have been diligent and don’t need to feel like we are irresponsible teenagers who are breaking curfew. On the other hand, it seems like young adults respond to threats of fines and closure more than appeals to logic and emotion. I can’t get rid of this nagging feeling that my generation was too liberal and hippie in their approach to parenting, particularly when it came to discipline. Our kids watched us bail them out and cut the crusts off all their sandwiches only to spit it back up as grown-ups.
The erosion of mental health is a virus of its own. Even the best of us are worn down. The few chances I’ve had to interact with real people leaves me with a lightness in my chest, and a genuine appreciation for simple conversation. Although people keep talking about mental health, there is a lack of actual tools and strategies to help people claw their way back to what is considered healthy and normal, pre-pandemic. It’s like seeing people who are on fire run around panicked, and hear them say, “I’m on fire!” All that society is doing right now is looking at them and saying, “Yes you are. You are on fire.” Declaring you are burnt out before you burn out doesn’t actually stop the process. And once you’ve burned out, as much as people think that this is where help comes in, help actually only works if you take the time to do some hard, deep, personal work to remove the emotional boulders that have accumulated while you were throwing yourself into work, hoping to drown out your soul. Medication can numb you so that you can go through the process of clearing out the build-up, but medication without therapy is like standing on a bridge that leads to nowhere.
Most years, Christmas presents an opportunity for us to “slow down”, spend time with family and reflect on our past. At least in North America, Christmas is notoriously known as a season for rushing around, overspending and overeating and handling the stress of managing family relationships, especially strained ones and navigating the challenges presented by death and loss as time progresses. Usually, this would be a post about how to help manage time and energy during the holidays, but this year finds us in a different space. This year, we are alone and disconnected, or else trapped in a bubble with our immediate family, and we are all growing weary.
Dear weary sister or friend, can you see the gift in this adversity? Christmas culture romanticizes adversity from the comfort of our era, at least in North America. We have our stories, like the poor little match girl, George Bailey on the hook for losing everyone’s money in It’s A Wonderful Life, and who can forget Old Scrooge who is visited by ghosts that warn him to change his materialistic ways. We have folklore related to Santa Claus, a benevolent saint who gives children toys. We have even tried to invent new Biblical perspectives, like the little drummer boy. These stories warm out hearts because they take people who are down on their luck and highlight how love, gratitude and supernatural intervention by a loving Father in the end brings resolution to the tempestuous heart. While we can see and appreciate it, we still wrap high end gifts to be opened Christmas morning, and force ourselves to keep baking, decorating and merry making until the very last minute.
There is something truthful about looking back and seeing how happy people were made by small pleasures. Pioneer Christmases are revered for the time that families put into creating special decorations and treats that mark the celebration of the season. Back then, the distractions and entertainment that we pursue did not exist, so an afternoon spent threading popcorn garlands for the tree or enjoying nuts and candied fruits. Apples and oranges were cherished. Songs and sing-alongs allowed everyone the chance to participate in reminders to be grateful. Christmas carols, tried and true, are for the most part theological expressions of worship, meant to transfer to the singer and those who hear the gospel of Jesus Christ, born on Christmas Day.
Now that we are actually positioned to be the poor in spirit, down in the mouth and out of luck, locked down, quarantined, forced to reckon with the person staring back in the mirror… let me ask you, can you find God’s silver lining meant for you in this time? You might have to wait for it, but I sincerely believe there is Christmas miracle waiting to happen for each and every one of God’s children. When you have a relationship with Him, in that you read His word and communicate through prayer regularly, believe me, He wants to reveal to you truths about who He is and who you are in Him. He wants to show you what your purpose is and give you directions for the New Year. Don’t see the pandemic as the world winning its battle against you. You are not of this world and cannot conform to its patterns (Romans 12:2), you are a peculiar people who are travelling through on your way to the place that God Himself is preparing for you.
Take this opportunity to hold on less to this world and more to Jesus. Here are my strategies for how to do this:
1. Take your time with everything. You are so used to rushing everything, you maybe still don’t realize that in some ways, time is standing still. We don’t have to do more, we simply have to do better. One day, I made curry chicken and I was shocked because it was actually as good as my mother’s cooking. I let my husband taste it and he was so surprised. I realized it’s all about slowing down while I cook and allowing myself to enjoy and observe things like the way onions turn translucent when it’s time to add your spices. Enjoy it! This year for Christmas, I am making traditional black cake, ginger beer and pepperpot. Google it!
2. Make good plans, with your own hands. Think of who you are buying for and what you want to give, as opposed to what they want to receive. Ask the Holy Spirit what He thinks and what He wants to give the people on your list. I don’t know about you, but there have been times when I bought gifts without people in mind, and as such, I gave things in a meaningless way, just to have something to give. This takes the joy out of gift giving. Make lists and then reduce those lists. At least in our context, we have too much of everything. Material goods don’t provide the lasting happiness they may have when we were young. Now, a gift should be about reflecting that you know the recipient. Usually, I give many gifts and this year, I have decided to skip every gift that I have usually given out of guilt or for show. If you are buying for people with kids, ask parents what kids need and what they recommend. Ask if you can get them something, more often than not, they will say no, it helps that you will buy for the kids. And even if you buy stuff, try to make stuff as well. A handmade card or ornament adds a personal touch that makes the process of preparing replenishing to you too. It’s not about the product. Every year, I make special gift tags that are hand painted. Over time, the people I love will have collected several name tags that are unique and treasures. While I am painting, I pray for the person and ask God to reveal to me how to bless them.
3. Write a birthday card or letter to Jesus. Far too often, we make our prayers about us, and not enough about Jesus. Well since it’s His birthday, can you write Him a card or a letter, and celebrate who He is? Seriously! We are meant to bless the Lord, to minister to Him in worship and in prayer. Not because He needs it! Or else, we would just be robots, feeding the ego of a self-centered Creator. Blessing God reflects back to Him the love that He has first loved us with, before we even knew how. It is a small way that we position ourselves in His sightline, showing Him that we have received the message of His love and we understand it as much as our little minds and hearts can, but beyond that, we return it back to Him, because He has made us righteous when He was not obligated to. Read that and let it sink in. So often in prayer, we skim over the praise and gratitude parts to get to our needs and worries and wants. God never stops us or tells us to start again. He is faithful and loves us just as much, but sadly that doesn’t motivate us to do better by Him. Since you will not be with everyone, can you take some time to be with Jesus and this time, in the same way we celebrate each other on our birthdays, can you make it all about Him? Advent helps us to focus our thoughts on God in the month leading up to Christmas. Some people only know that it means chocolate once a day. This year, for advent, can you intentionally spend some time telling God how much you appreciate His character and not just what He has done for you? With Google, you can find any verse in the Bible. Put some effort in this and it will make for a better Christmas.
4. Give the secret gift of forgiveness. I wanted to encourage you to look at photos from the past and remember good times, but then I remembered how much pain family photos can bring with them. So if that hurts, skip it, but instead can you find three people to forgive? Consider this: only you can give forgiveness. They don’t even have to know about it. You only need to speak it out loud and follow it by asking God to do the good work of making it so, in Jesus name. Forgiveness is the gift that gives you peace in return. You will feel lighter, and it will be easier to engage in happiness because this is directly related to removing emotional build-up. They don’t even need to thank you! God sees everything.
5. Get some good deep breathes of fresh air. For the moment, it’s free, and we continue to neglect this very basic need that will instantly improve your mental health. When you take a deep breath, you are taking in more oxygen, and in return, your blood flow improves. When we are stressed and distressed, our blood vessels constrict and if you can remember to breathe, you will stop the stress from hijacking your system and starting up anxiety or panic. Now I know some of you think it’s too hot or too cold outside. However you have to, at some point this Christmas, I pray that you will be able to bundle up and go outside or at least open a window. Yes it’s cold. But it’s good for you. It will bring you back to life. It’s even better if you are able to walk in it for a while. When you come back in, your body and brain will be satisfied that you have done something (which is really why this cabin fever is getting to us).
I truly believe that these five small things can help position you to receive from God the gift He has for you in this time of adversity.
God bless you sis! I love you and want to thank you for spending parts of this year with me. Some of you have become like real life friends who I look forward to hearing from. If you have been blessed by this website, please do me a favour and pass it along to someone who you think might also enjoy it. I continue to remember you in prayer and look forward to 2021, as God has promised that His children will move from glory to glory. For the moment, you may see it dimly, but I pray that God will reveal to you more of His glory and grace than ever before. Merry Christmas.
