Getting Started in Deliverance

I have been a believer for a while now, and I have read a lot of books about spiritual warfare. I was wondering if it’s possible to do deliverance on yourself. I don’t have a pastor or a church and I’m trying my best, but I don’t want to lie to myself or think that it worked if it didn’t. What do you suggest?

This is a great question! Controversial too! I am going to give you my opinion, Sis.

Knowing about deliverance, spiritual warfare, generational sin et cetera is important. These issues do not affect everyone in the same way. Sometimes there are deeper ties to our heritage that make these issues more stubborn to deal with. So first of all, I want to say, we cannot dismiss the work of the enemy. We live in a time where there are too many churches who refuse to address demonic activity because they think that if they don’t talk about it, they won’t have to deal with it. And this is kinda true, because ignoring it allows it to stay active but quiet. The end result is that the people who really need help in those congregations have nowhere to turn to and are often deeply embarrassed about these problems.

I am an advocate of reading, but all books are second to the Bible. People have such varying stances, you really need to have a grasp on a few different perspectives before you can start to see what beliefs you align with. The book I recommend for everyone to start with is The Bondage Breaker, by Neil T. Anderson. The greatest criticism I’ve heard of it is that he might be considered too thorough by way of the long laundry lists of things to renounce. I personally think it’s better to be safe than sorry, and I would rather have many options to choose from.

Next, I want to talk to you about FEAR. If you are afraid, reading this kind of literature is not going to be helpful. Usually once people have received some freedom after prayer, they find that they are drawn to wanting to surrender more of their scars to God, so greater deliverance and healing can take place. If you are afraid, I want you to seek help from a person, even if it’s an email (you can email me: secretsfromursister@gmail.com). Fear is a spirit too and it needs to be broken for your prayer to be effective in this area.

Some of the materials (books) and opinions out there are also written from a perspective of FEAR. Why? Because demonic manifestations can be scary. I am fortunate that while they surprise me from time to time, I am not afraid, but you also have to know I’ve been dealing with these things for years. When I read certain books (Liberty Savard, Charles Kraft) I can’t help but think that these have been written from a perspective of outsiders looking in. This is why having an experienced, mature Christian stand with you in this time is very important. Deception is such that we do not know it until we realize that we have succumbed to it.

I believe that you can experience healing, freedom and relief in praying for yourself. I believe that soul ties, inordinate affections and curses can be broken by you. But I also believe that there are some spiritual messes that are like badly tangled hair; they require an expert to help sort out what’s good and what needs to be removed. It can be hard to find these experts, but reading and gaining a few different perspectives will help.

Here’s a huge tip: step back from people who pray deliverance using anything other than the blood of Jesus and perhaps a little anointing oil. You have to establish some trust and boundaries with this person before they pray for you. It would be good if you could see them pray for others so you have an idea of what to expect.

The good news is that in 2018, there is at least one online source where you can be prayed for via Skype and have it be effective. I am not here to endorse anyone, but I have personally done online deliverance with Above and Beyond Counselling, based out of Florida, in the USA. They are open to discussing everything and anything, including the fees (not bad, by the way!). Their website has a ton of great articles, testimonies and they host a weekly podcast. I hope you reach out to them.

I don’t want to sound like an old biddie, but I really am praying that you find a church with a community of believers who can support you in daily Christian living. It makes all the difference, especially while you go through processes like deliverance. Don’t give up on the search! You will eventually find a place to call home.

I Don't Feel the Presence of God

I don’t feel anything when I pray. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even a Christian, because I can’t feel God the way others around me do. What’s wrong with me?

My dear sister! I want to thank you for sending me this question. Part of the scheme of the enemy is to silence you into holding on to these things until you give up the faith. I want to assure you that nothing is wrong with you and that what you’re describing is a common feeling.

Some people believe in God, but don’t believe that they can experience Him; although they believe that the Bible is an inspired account of God’s relationship and interaction with humanity, they see the role of Christians today to believe and wait for His return. There are other Christians who believe that God is actively engaged with us on earth, intervening in our situations and loving us in tangible ways. While I am now one of those believers, I did not always feel this way.

I grew up in a Pentecostal church. Although mostly restrained, I became accustomed to seeing people be moved by the Holy Spirit and experience tears, happiness and fainting spells. I never felt a thing, so I thought I must be beyond God’s reach. Back then, I didn’t realize that God spoke to me in a way that just felt like a strong gut instinct. I always imagined what God would sound like, and when it didn’t happen in that way, I discounted what I already knew.

Prayer is powerful. Even if you don’t feel anything, the act of using words (action) to celebrate God for His character and His provision is deeply pleasing to Him. When we tell Him how we feel about things that are happening, He listens and can respond in a feeling, or impression, or dream. Sometimes, I have poured out my heart to God, felt nothing, but realized afterwards that I am calmer and I feel better about the situation. God wants to hear from us, so keep praying.

There are many different ways to pray. Some engage the emotions more than others. Some people use worship music, painting and journaling to inspire their communication with God. Prayer does not have to be eyes closed, heads bowed, hands clasped, although it could be. The bottom line is whatever your prayers look like, rest assured that God hears and cherishes them.

For myself, one way that I became closer to feeling God in a tangible way was to read more books about the Father’s heart, that is, learning to experience and receive God’s unconditional love. For a long time, I knew that God loved me, but I didn’t feel anything. I had to deal with some things from my past that corrected the way I understood LOVE. Once that was cleared up, I became open to feeling His presence in a tangible way. If it could work for me, it can work for you!

What's Been Going On.

You may have noticed I haven’t been updating my blog as often as I used to. My apologies for this- I really didn’t think that it would get this far, but sigh, here we are. I’m going through some things, as most of us do from time to time. When I began this blog over a year ago, I felt God clearly say to me to keep it going and everything will be fine. At first I was puzzled by that idea. What difference would one blog in a sea of a million make? But true to His word, whenever I make it a priority to write these little tidbits of things I have learned along the way, He takes care of all of the other things.

I am backlogged with Questions, as well as ideas for posts that I want to write. Sometimes I don’t write because I’m uncomfortable with my topic, and I wonder how it will make you feel when you read it. I know I’m tackling some controversial things at times, but I know that God is giving me a chance to just share my two cents and maybe it will speak to you when you find yourself in a similar situation. This writing has required bravery. It has motivated me to start my Masters in Theology. I want to know more and more about the Bible, so that I can keep growing in my Christian walk. These are some of the things that have kept me away from you.

And then there are the circumstances. Sister girl, I am at a loss for words. Life certainly has its stressors, and the big ones we can’t even prepare for. Fortunately in my case, no one has died, but I am dealing with huge financial losses that will hurt for the next few years. I’m doing everything I can just to keep holding on, and in keeping with that, I offer you three things this hard time has taught me.

1)      It’s isn’t easier when there’s two of you- it’s different. In my life as a single girl, I often longed to have a partner who would be there for me in hard times. To an extent this is true, but more than anything, I realize that my judgment was better before I had my husband. It’s one thing for me to have to go through on my own. It’s another pain to see my husband suffer. I look at him and feel my heart tear into little pieces. I see him insulted and I want revenge. I withhold how bad it is because I don’t want to add to his pain. He is a strong man. He has behaved better than me in this situation. But I know his inner heart, what causes pain to him, and I want to lash out at the source. Sometimes, there is no source. You just have to go through.

2)      Something about hard times always brings out who your real friends are. I feel like this change of perspective is causing me to see people more clearly. Someone I considered my friend made a particularly cruel comment, and I really weighed whether I was being too sensitive or not. I decided to start listening to what she had to say, and I realized that this person is not encouraging or nice. I was careful to check to make sure that it wasn’t an issue of us just not seeing eye to eye. I began to see how as soon as things would improve, she would want me to talk and dwell on what had happened. And then, when I refused, she would say something that was downright insulting although spoken in a sweet tone. I was so surprised, and disappointed. I’m thinking a lot about Job these days. I have always felt that Job’s friends were really good people who loved him, and couldn’t stand seeing him suffer. With their limited human minds, they were trying to find a reason for why he was encountering all of these problems.  They were not helpful. In fact at times, they were incredibly discouraging. Our friends may want to help us, but don’t know how, because there are some roads that you have to walk alone. Having said that, I am (still!) surprised to see how many people who have loved and benefitted from our good times have quietly withdrawn from us in our bad time.  

3)      Hard times will pass. Praise God for His constant nature! It can’t stay this way- especially when I am His daughter, and while He still has plans for my life and promises to fulfill. Today on my way to work, I noticed that the sun was shining and I realized that the sun was already making things better, even though nothing else has changed. Every day, regardless of what is going on, the sun rises. And when it shines, how can we not enjoy its light? I have learned that training myself daily to meditate on the Word of God (that is, to think of what is written in the Bible, to memorize it and say it to myself, to take opportunity every day to quiet down my mind and remember God) has been a saving grace. When you get thrown by life, your mind and heart are unsettled, but I believe that being in daily communication with God helps to bring back focus to what is really important- not the things that currently on your mind! In my pain, I have caught my spirit singing, and listening to the words, I realize that I am still worshipping Him through my pain. I believe that if you regularly train your body and soul to worship God, when trying times come, your body and soul will remember that pattern and will bring it back even when you’re not actively trying to make it happen. I believe that Heaven has been opened above me since Jesus died, descended into Hell and retrieved the keys of death. But worship clears the clouds away and allows me to receive from that open Heaven. This is currently saving my sanity and my life.

I want to thank you for your patience with me as I get through the hard stuff. I promise to keep writing and hope to have my post schedule back to what it was (once a week). Thank you for your love and prayers at this time.

Your Sister

Baptism in the Holy Spirit and Speaking in Tongues (An Experiential Account)

What is baptism in the Holy Spirit?

A great question! Because I am not a theologian, or pastor, my answer is going to be different I think than most articles you may find online about this. I encourage you to Google it, read several sources and discuss with your pastor what your church’s belief is on the matter. I am going to stay in the realm of experience, because that’s what I have. This question has made me do a fair bit of research and I must say I have not come across anything definitive or satisfying.

SO! Water baptism is a public declaration that you are a follower of Christ. It is a physical act with spiritual effects: you are immersed in water, to represent the old you dying and then you are raised up, symbolizing that you are a new creation, having been cleansed and saved by the blood of Jesus. I believe that you receive the Holy Spirit when you first receive Jesus as your Savior, and then at baptism, His presence is stronger in your life. I believe that in your daily Christian life, as you do things to build up your Spirit (fasting, praying, reading the Bible, praising and worshipping God), the presence of the Holy Spirit is stronger in your life. And I do believe a time comes when you experience a supernatural filling that can be compared to immersion in water.

I want to tell you how it happened for me. I grew up in a Pentecostal church that strongly promoted baptism in the spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues. (This means that they believed once you were filled with the Holy Spirit, you would be able to speak in a language that isn’t a “real” translatable language, but a collection of words and syllables that are understood to be a heavenly language.) I grew up understanding that this was part of spiritual life, and that it would just happen. But sister, I have to tell you… it just didn’t happen for me. Instead of building my faith, the fact that I could not speak in tongues made me feel further away from Christ. I started to wonder what was wrong with me, and I will even tell you, I thought maybe He had rejected me. I felt judged by my church community, and I was afraid of people discovering that I could not speak in tongues, so I became even quieter. When people would pray that I would get filled with the Spirit and I didn’t speak in tongues, I felt great pressure. I listened to other people speak in tongues, and I even tried out some of those words on my own. It sounded fake to me, and I was embarrassed and never did it again.

When I moved away from my hometown, my Christianity grew leaps and bounds. I discovered that living my life dependent on God was very different than just going to church once a week. He came to be my Savior, present tense. It was almost like he was teaching me day by day to look for Him and to wait for His voice. When I had built up my spiritual life, I asked God why I hadn’t spoken in tongues before. I ended up reflecting on the ups and downs of my Christian walk, the pressure of knowing that I wasn’t able to do what others seemed to access easily, and I saw myself discouraged and without faith. I began to pray and ask God to fill me with the Holy Spirit, with or without tongues, I was determined to have the experience.

There came a morning when I was praising and worshipping God out loud all by myself. I was really happy and encouraged, and I was just delighting in God, and reflecting words from the Bible that showed His character. In the midst of this, what happened I can only describe as a disconnect- along the way, I was not listening to myself pray. When I heard my prayer, I realized it wasn’t English. The moment I heard it, everything stopped. I stopped praying – I wondered if I had heard correctly and immediately I began to have doubts. I prayed again, this time addressing the Holy Spirit in English and asking Him to build my faith so that I can be free to speak it in tongues and after a short while, I began to hear my heavenly language. I was eager to test it out, play with it and learn all I could about it. Here are some highlights of that experience:

1)      I realized that while speaking in tongues, I was still in full control. This was contrary to what I thought it would be like, and what I had seen before. You can always stop speaking in tongues. People who speak loudly are making the decision to- and I think that sometimes, in prayer like spiritual warfare, that is needed. But overall, you can control the volume and the desire to speak in tongues.

2)      The enemy tries to mess with your head while it is happening. He tries to distract you, or make you question the practice because he wants you to stop! When you speak in heavenly tongues, you are speaking spiritual things (1 Corinthians 14:2). The Holy Spirit, through you, is interceding and praying for things that you do not have knowledge of. Sometimes when praying for a person, I might speak in tongues because on a human level, I don’t know the situation, but the Holy Spirit does and will know how to pray. The enemy wants to stop this process because this is a pure form of communication with God, much like waiting on Him, or praying in your heart without audible words. (And if you can’t or haven’t spoken in tongues, I want to encourage you to keep praying those silent inner prayers from time to time. The enemy does not know your thoughts and you have a direct line to God in that way.)

3)      Your mind and your spirit are two very different parts of you. I had to learn how to turn off my mind with its judgments, rationalizations, and doubt and allow the Holy Spirit to take control of my tongue. There are times when I am praying and I become very aware of my thoughts. Even though I am thinking, it is not stopping me from praying. At times, my mind will try to distract me, but other times, I am just aware of what is going on and this particularly useful when praying for people who are sick.

4)      Speaking in tongues and having a gift of tongues are different. When we pray with a heavenly tongue, we pray to God (Romans 8:26) and are led by the Holy Spirit. But it is a spiritual gift to be able to speak in tongues to address a group, and then have someone else receive the interpretation of what was said. I have seen this done, and to be perfectly honest- I think it is a gift from God that shows up from time to time and really can edify other Christians. I also think that one has to be particularly brave to speak in tongues to address a group and have faith that there will be an interpretation. I was once in a service where this particular gift surface. A woman addressed the congregation in tongues, and after a pregnant pause, the interpretation was given. Later on our way, my dad told me that he had received the interpretation, but when it was time to speak, he didn’t feel ready and the other person interpreted. He confirmed that the interpretation was word for word what was spoken. I think he was surprised by this experience, and I was surprised that someone I knew was privy to such a supernatural occurrence.

5)      Speaking in tongues requires faith. You can build that faith by doing things to strengthen your spirit in the things of God. When you start to exercise faith on this level, the increase can open you up to living life at a different level. I’ve heard it compared to a gas tank- being filled with the Holy Spirit is like being three quarters full, and speaking in tongues helps you to fill up to the overflow faster and more abundantly.

Other things changed in my life after the day that I first began speaking in tongues. I had a new confidence and greater faith in the things of God. I started to really understand that nothing is impossible with Him. I also could not stop telling people about Him and all that He did for me, including the experience of speaking in tongues. It took a long time for it to happen, but once it did, I promised to pray in tongues as much as possible, because it was a gift obtained by faith. I now had a testimony and a bolder desire to share Jesus with everyone around me.

Are you ready to try on your own to receive the gift of tongues? Here are my suggestions!

·        Build up your faith and strengthen your spirit through praise and worship, reading the Bible, fasting and prayer

·        Spend time alone with God regularly and build up your prayer time

·        Let God know that you want to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. This is a good thing to desire!

·        Spiritually cleanse the room you pray in. Command all spirits that are not the Holy Spirit to go in the name of Jesus, to ensure that you are not distracted or deceived.

·        Begin to pray and move to the point where you disconnect and you are no longer listening to your words. With your mind, create images towards God of who He is to you. Remember God literally lives in the praises of His people. He will meet you there!

·        Release your faith to the Holy Spirit. I don’t know how to describe or advise this. Think of pumping a well and then letting the water gush out… that’s the release. I am praying that after youread this, God will reveal to you what releasing your faith will look like practically. I believe it’s different for different people.

·        Keep trying! Keep going there! I discourage you from giving into pressure from others to be able to speak in tongues. I believe that there are Spirit-filled Christians who have never accessed this gift. Keep a healthy attitude towards it. The race you run is between you and God.

Did this help? Share with me in the comments below!

A Little More about the Holy Spirit...

Who is the Holy Spirit? Why is He important? How do I have a relationship with Him?

Great questions. 

The Holy Spirit is the third part of the Holy Trinity. You may already know God as the Father, Jesus as His Son, and the Holy Spirit is presence of God in a spiritual essence that lives within us once we accept Christ into our lives. It is the presence of God in this unique form that enables us to apply the same power that raised Jesus from the dead to our everyday lives and situations. (Read that again and let it sink in... Mind blowing!) The trinity is active in all its parts- we approach God as our father, we receive intercession from Jesus who is seated at his right hand, and His spirit gives guidance on how to be more like Christ. 

The Holy Spirit is important because He has the ability to transform our habits, feelings and thoughts. In in the Galatians chapter 5, the apostle Paul lays out the struggle we have between our spirit self (referred to as man) and our human self (sometimes called carnal man or flesh). One thing becomes clear in this book: to maximize the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives we have to cultivate a relationship with him and purposefully do things to strengthen our spirit. 

Here are some practical ways to engage the Holy Spirit in daily life. 

1.     Set aside time to speak to him as a friend, and not through formal prayer. I'm going to assume you have a healthy and active prayer life- in addition to this, sometimes when you're going to do a menial activity like taking a walk or washing dishes, have an internal conversation with the Holy Spirit. (People often call this being mindful.) You might want to start this by praying and asking the Holy Spirit to spend this time with you. You might start by telling him about something, a situation or a problem; how you feel about it or how you handled it. Then wait for a response. You will not hear an audible voice. You are not looking for a thought to pop into your head. The Holy Spirit speaks from the middle of your chest in a small, still voice. You may get an image or an impression. Especially in the beginning, it's hard to disengage your mind, but when you do hear from the Holy Spirit, it's like catching a glimpse of something bigger. By the time you realize what has happened, it's gone! And yet through practice, you can learn how to tune into His frequency easier. 

2.     Ask the Holy Spirit what to wear in the morning or what to have for lunch. This is an easy way to involve Him in your daily decision making and start to follow his leading. Once you start this, you will see what I mean. This also works with asking  Him to help you remember things. ( I remember I once thought the Holy Spirit doesn't have time to deal with my nonsense when He has bigger things to do, but the truth is God in his fullness cares about all of the things that concern me. These small ways helped me see His presence active in my life on a daily basis.)

3.     Ask Him who to pray for. It may not come right away, but one day you will find yourself thinking of someone, wondering how they are and what they are facing. Then, you should get a little nudge- pray! Pray for the person. God will reveal in time how he used you to pray for that person in a moment when they needed it. 

Next week, I will answer questions about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and the gifts of the spirit. Be blessed, sis! 

Habitual Sin

What do you do with ongoing sin/ bad habits? You want to stop and tried many times but you always go back to it and keep asking for forgiveness from God. 

Habitual sin is a common problem among sisters. It's one of those things that people in the church make blanket statements about, but rarely is anyone specific on how to handle it. So first, a few reminders:

1. We all have sin in our life that we have to continually confess. First John 1:8 says, "if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. IF we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us." the struggle is real, but God also promises that temptation will never be more than you are able to bear (1Corinthians 10:13)  and that he will provide a way of escape. Remember this because forgiveness is real, and while God does not want you to sin, He understands our humanity.
2. Continual sin, without repentance, opens doors in your life for other bad habits to take hold in your life. When you sin, you give the enemy a legal right to wreak havoc in your life. You are walking outside the agreement you made with God to live according to His ways, which is why you need to make it right with Him, or else one thing can become an octopus unchecked. 
3. Sin is sin, but not all sin is equal. Some sins will be easier to resist than others. Some have a greater hold on our lives because there are spirits that have attached themselves to our families and are causing behaviours to repeat. Sometimes we do things that are not normal, but we don't realize it because it has been part of family practice, or culture or tradition for so long, yet no one knows why we do these things. I'm sorry if that sounds cryptic, I know that someone will read that sentence and understand it was meant for them. To break these patterns of sin, it sometimes takes more than the initial release of the Holy Spirit power we get at salvation. Paul talks specifically about some sins that are committed in the body, sexual sin, and how those sins are particularly destructive to the body( 1 Corinthians 6:18). These things are more complicated, but can still be overcome.

I would recommend taking this matter to God in prayer. Let Him know your heart, and reiterate with your words that you do not want to continue doing this thing. Recognize that He is able to do all things, and ask for the Holy Spirit to give you the ability to stop this act. 

Next, I recommend you do things to strengthen your spirit, so that it will be easier to overcome your very real physical desires. This includes regularly reading your Bible (the book of Galatians and Romans are good places to start),participating in devotional prayer, spending time with other Christians in fellowship and going to church. If you want ideas on how to make prayer and Bible reading practical, I encourage you to read my post on Christianity 101. I also want to mention that fasting helps to strengthen your spirit. There are many different kinds of fasts you can do, but my favourite is abstaining from food from 6 to 6, and making the effort during that time to spend your time besides work in prayer. 

Take some time to think of the problem logically. Write down the circumstances that lead up to you finding yourself in sin. Are there people or events that trigger it? Make a list of your observations. 

Create a list of things you can do when next you experience temptation. The most important part of this is to train yourself to think before acting- to give time to your spirit to react and counter what your physical nature wants to do. When you are facing temptation, create ways to walk away from it and then do it. Fleeing the enemy sounds drastic but it really does work. 

Last but not least, find someone you can trust in church- an older, mature Christian, possibly a leader, or the Pastor. If this is something sexual in nature, seek out someone of the same gender. Ask this person to pray with you that you will not fall into sin, and allow them to keep you accountable. This is the hardest part, but one of the best ways to stay honest. Telling someone where you are at strengthens your prayer network and can help you resist. 

There may be times when you will still fall into sin, but be encouraged that if you're doing these things, you should start to notice a decrease in frequency as well as more time between being tempted and actually giving in to temptation. That time is to allow you to make a choice above how you feel and what you desire, to choose to do what is right, even when others are not looking. This is how you develop integrity and spiritual stamina. 

Willpower is nothing compared to the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Cultivate a real relationship with Him, talk to Him like He is a friend and you will be surprised to see how much easier He makes it to live everyday life. God bless you sis! Praying for you today! 

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