Am I right when I say to you, there are times in life when letting go of disappointment, hurt and pain is easier said than done? I have been there- I have actually lost years to anger because I held on to what I felt was injustice. Many people advised me to let it go, but this was easier said than done.
This post will provide a strategy for letting go of burdens that God wants to take from you. It works for the big stuff as well, but you will have to be diligent and open to talking about what happened. That’s right- it hurts so much that you think it will kill you to talk about it, but once you do, the poison loses its toxicity. For help letting go of the huge things, I want to recommend T.D. Jakes’ book, LET IT GO. While I read it, there were times that it resonated so deeply I literally threw the book across the room because I couldn’t handle the truth. But I always went to retrieve it and went deeper into the process. I hope you read it too!
It also seems like no matter how many times I am put in a position where I have to let go, I forget every other time I went through the process. Life can pull the rug from right under you friends, and this girl has lived through that waaaaay too many times. I created a prayer box as a physical reminder of what I had already entrusted to God.
Sometimes we go to God in prayer, and ask Him to take things from us that threaten to overwhelm us. And after spending time with Him in praise and worship, we say “Amen” and pick up the same burdens on our way out. You haven’t really put the situation in God’s hand if you find yourself giving into worry and anxiety about it afterwards.
I decorated this little box, and inside I wrote on slips of paper the things that I knew I needed to give to God because they were making my heart sick. Examples: The girl at work who intimidates me, my credit card bill that I am paying off ever so slowly, the student loans that are still there after all these years, a friend who is upset with me because of a message she saw on Facebook (oops)… After doing all that I can (making minimum payments, being friendly to the meanie at work, apologizing to my friend), I write the situation on a slip of paper. During my prayer time, I take out the box and go through with God each situation. I ask for His forgiveness where I’ve failed, I tell Him what happened and I tell Him what I want from the situation. He may not agree with what I want, but that’s okay… it’s more important that he take this pain from me because I can’t take it anymore! I allow myself to be angry, or emotional one last time and then I put it in the box. I take a deep breath and declare with my words that I am letting go and allowing God to take control of the situation.
The box serves as a visual reminder that this burden is not with me anymore. The hard part is convincing my mind, who has become accustomed to worrying and dwelling on stuff, that it is no longer in my power to think about this thing. In the beginning, I may even have to go open the box a few times, read the slip of paper and then give it over again. I might speak out loud when my thoughts begin to race, “That issue is already in God’s hands. It’s in the box and I am not going to worry about it.” I promise it gets easier with time.
I want to stress that this only works when you’ve taken the time to do all that you can or should in the situation. If I’m not making my minimum payments, I can’t let go that concern because I have not done my part. If I don’t have money for it, then that would have to go in the box too- I can’t do anything without the money, so please provide for me Lord. And if the Lord provides and I use that money for something else, I haven’t been a good steward. The same goes for relationships- when you are wrong, you need to make an authentic attempt to make amends. Then you have done all you can, and you are asking God to take over now and through his Holy Spirit, do the healing work that you can’t do, both for yourself and the other individual.
After having my box for a while, I was able to go through the slips of paper and see how God had rectified and worked out various situations in my life. But the reason I created the box, the heartbreak that threatened to harden my heart forever, was still there.
Heartbreak took a few additional steps. I had to talk about it. I had to cry and let it out. I had to mourn the loss of the relationship and no one could tell me how long that would take (but admittedly, it took longer because I was so stubborn and didn’t want to really let it go). Somehow I reasoned that it was better to feel pain and still hold onto the memories I had then to let it go and avail myself to making new memories.
I remember being blinded by tears when I would see that slip of paper, an injury without relief. I brought it God countless times, and when my mind and heart tried to take it back, I would bark, “It’s in the box! It’s still in the box!” I prayed about it and realized that I had not forgiven the person who broke my heart for hurting me. I remember thinking at the time, “God, why don’t you reward me for my progress?! I used to picture cars hitting him in the street and now, I just want him out of my sight.” It wasn’t enough! In effort to deal with this, I began to bless the breaker of my heart. At first it was not genuine, and eventually, I felt it was humiliating that after all he did to me, here I was blessing him… but it worked. Over time, it worked! I knew I had made progress one day when my brain wanted to reach out to those fading memories, and when I said it was in the box, I saw the image in my mind of this guy, shrunk down to a miniature size, being put in my prayer box. He was laid on his side, legs curled up, the way a child sleeps, and he was smiling. He went into the box and I saw it close.
Peeps- I promise you, that image did not come from me. Having to see someone who hurt you deeply every day is torture enough. Sometimes we imagine bad things happening to him/her just so we can feel like we have control in the situation. That certainly was what I did for a while. But I knew that forgiveness was taking hold of me when I could picture him, happy and at peace, sleeping the hand of God, who took care of what was in my prayer box.
Have you ever used a prayer box? How do you deal with disappointment, hurt and pain when it keeps coming to mind? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.